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x_spazzmonkies
{☆} Profile
{☆} Friends
\\ Stuff
Name: Alex
Age: 17
Hobbies: Parapara, drawing, DDR, RP, being a high-class japanophile ;D
Interests: Fashion (Baby! the stars shine bright, H.Naoto, ect.. ), art?
\\ Layout
Layout features the band, NEU. Made by {Mija} for the design group {Crazed~System}.
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| Alex's rendition of the slaughter of love. |
[Friday
3.13.09 @
9:31am
] |
Once upon a time,
In that little creepy town that nobody liked, in a little creepy house that nobody visited, there was a girl. A little creepy girl who desired much and deserved nothing, so she thought.
' will i always be alone?' she pined for someone. She was un kept and unsuitable.
One day somebody knocked on her rickety door, and the creepy unkept girl answered with shaking hands. She opened to door to a shining prince, smiling and gleeful to see her. They traveled through thickets and dark places that she'd never dared to go, and she held unto him. His laugher was the light to her otherwise dim eyes, his smile sparked an energy in her and that creepy little girl began to brighten.
The Prince came to visit her whenever she was brave enough to ask, they would watch films and wrap around eachother for comfort. She couldn't comprehend why he didn't have somebody, she couldn't understand why he was there with her.
She fell in love with him, but an undignified person such as herself didn't deserve a glowing light such as this prince. She decided that things would be best left as they were -- but he had another idea.
A surprise kiss, and a joy blossomed within her. The once creepy, unkept girl changed into something beautiful and worthy to stand beside him.
They would argue and make up, and with her new found confidence she hurt him many a time. regret filled her with each peirce of his wonderful heart. She would hold him tightly to her, he would touch her gently and carefully. She shone in the prescence of his love and his love alone, showered with confidence, beauty, happiness, and the creepy town faded in her eyes, shifted and turned into something shimmering.
but love cannot last forever for both parties involved, and she was led blindless into the slaughter. The Prince led her back to her creepy home and let go of her hand, he looked tawords her and the light of his love, his passion, dimmed in front of her. His eyes no lomger looked soley at her and his smile turned into nothing. Hid hands were no longer adoring, he did not touch or hold her, but simply told her that his love was no longer for her. The prince she loved so desperately turned from her and she tried to stop him.
The once glowing girl, now dimmed and bleeding her happiness out, begged and pleaded. She gripped his coat and proclaimed that she would change for him, she threw herself to the ground and screamed. The once glowing Prince turned a cold shoulder tawords her, a blizzard of uncaring looks.
He walked away from her that day, and the once bright soul dimmed back into a dismal brown, muddy and unclear. She was no longer deserving, she was again unkept and now, atop of her misery, was lonliness. She pined after the Prince while she watche him court someone worthy, a Princess. She watched with her dull eyes the affection between them and how she wished his eyes would turn tawords her.
The creepy little girl, with her unkept looks and dull brown eyes, approached the Prince one last time. She tried to express her delicate feelings and deep bond she still felt for him. Upon hearing this, he drew a pistol from his vest and pointed it at her. She was still and he began to speak harsh words of cruelty, the meaning of these didn't dilute or detour her.
' does thou still yearn for me? love me?' he spoke tonelessly.
she nodded her hand, and with a chilled grin he squeezed the trigger and the bullet met her without any resistance, her blood spilled across the white walls of his glowing stature.
The Prince would go on with his Princess, and in all the swell of things, love's grasp was lost in the slaughter of her.
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{shiny love}
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| nonono, i think you're amazing. |
[Thursday
10.9.08 @
3:17pm
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 relieved |
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N/A |
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braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
okayy. also, i'mma charge up the psp so you don't die of boredom on friday
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
^^ Thank you, baby~
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
your welcooooome~
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
it just makes my little nerd inside so happy that my /girlfriend/ wants to borrow the psp for an actual /game/. for a normal chick, you'd hear, "uhhh, hayyyuh, can u liek, charge up dat black thing so i can listen to like, fitty cent or sum shit?"
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
xDD
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
Ahh, well, I've been dieing to play Crisis core again, so, its the perfect chance~
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
x333 -squee-
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
x3
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
Why does that make you so happy?
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
i brag about you to all the nerds on /v/.
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
because, you are an awesome girlfriend
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
an attractive weeabo that likes jrpg's.
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
.. You brag about me?
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
mhmm.
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
xD Why?!
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
i just said!
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
you're an awesome girlfriend
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
No, I'm really not x3
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
well, for me you are
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
xD No I'm not, at all~
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
why not, then?
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
hmm?
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
Because! I'm selfish, I'm not a hard worker and I complain a bunch. And I'm always just thinking about things that are absolutely crazy, Lately, I'm not in a good disposiation at all. But .. It makes me really happy that you think of me like that. Secretly, I thought you were sick of me.
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
nonono, i think you're amazing.
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
..You made me cry.
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
w-what?!
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
Just today I've been really thinking about the fact that my passion for things has gone, and I don't have any willpower or goals to work towards. That I was pathetic, and I didn't think highly of myself, and nobody really did.
Yoite. He's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. says:
So Just you saying that made me relieved, and I cried.
braver fucking sick again. what the hell. says:
babyyy, i've always thought you were amazing.
He knows just the right way to turn my mood right the fuck around. I've never heard that from somebody I really loved, and thought they actually meant it. I'm so relieved, I can't stop crying.
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3 fell into {shiny love}
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| Hataraki Man. |
[Thursday
10.9.08 @
2:02pm
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Maroon five - Sunday Morning |
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I was watching this Anime last night and today when I didn't go to school. There wasn't any good reason for me not to be there, people have gone through worse and still made it to all their classes, unscathed and smiling.
Hataraki Man is about a busy business woman who works at a magazine, putting her all into articles until shes satisfied with them. With a lot of Passion and willpower, she does things that I would never be able to do -- But that I'm sure other people do every single day.
I went out to have a cigarette after watching an episode or two and it was really beautiful outside, and calm, so I got relaxed and started thinking about things. Where did my Passion go? didn't I used to have something to be passionate about? My Willpower has never been that strong and I've always struggled with getting up on time, and even doing my Insulin on time or at all -- and that's important because I need it to live, right? So does that mean no matter how important it is I can push it aside and do what I want instead?
I started wondering about what exactly I was doing with my life and how I could make up for it, even though things will be too difficult for me to graduate with everyone else now. I've pulled myself back so far, just sitting here and doing unimportant things like sitting on the computer or sleeping my days away. Also, no matter how many people I seem to be letting down and how much trouble I'll get into if I keep going on like this, I can't seem to motivate myself. Didn't I have Motivation before all this? Before High school, before dating, before my new friends and social calender. I'm sure I had it in Elementary school and maybe even before then, I had a passion back then too, However lame it was -- I wanted to be different. I wanted to look and act different from all the people I knew so that I could be entirely myself and make it through life that way. I had a goal to work towards back them, too, I wanted to be a Novelist or do something that could help and inspire people. Now my only Ideas are a Chef and something to do with Fashion. So, somewhere from the day I graduated John XXIII and started high school something must have changed to make me loose my previous self, so what was it?
If growing up means that you can loose your goals, goals and dreams that can inspire you to do better and try your hardest at everything you do and its normal to grow this way, then I've been following the norm, haven't I?
I don't talk different nor do I dress different anymore, its not even slightly eye catching.
I don't feel like writing anymore.
Byebye~ \(^_^)~
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6 fell into {shiny love}
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| REFRESH!~ |
[Thursday
10.9.08 @
1:10am
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宇多田ヒカル - Flavor Of Life -Ballad Version- |
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HUZZAH!
I decided, at 1:10 AM, after lurking Emylee's journal for a while and finding Kat, that I'd get rid of all those old, emotastic angst ridden journals that NOBODY Wants to read.
I decided I'll fill it with my random shit instead, right? At least it doesn't make people dotdotdot at me.
So, basically, I can't sleep no matter what. INSOMNIAAA!~ But not for long. Imma go up and drink like, a ton of hot chocolate powder with milk and watch the Disney channel. Why? Because hot chocolate powder in milk is DELICIOUS, plus the Disney channel can be amusing at times >:3
THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE, I WATCH RECESS.
OH! On the 'watching things' note, I stumbled across the cutest little 20-Minute short Anime that was the most adorable thing ever. Mind you, the aesthetics weren't that appealing but the story was touching enough to reel you in.
I'm procrastinating/Trying not to watch Nabari No Ou 25 now that its finally subbed, its better if I wait until the whole series is finished.
FFS.
.. I wanna watch NANA again.
Ahhh, well, its fine.
I'm going to try and sleep now.
\(-_-)~
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3 fell into {shiny love}
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